Eternal Island - A Halloween Creative Writing Piece

Posted by Dallas R. '21 on 10/31/19 8:56 AM

The following short story was written by Dallas R. '21, a CH-CH student and winner of the most recent Halloween Story Contest. This spooky creative writing piece remains a seasonal favorite by the CH-CH community.   

Blog Title (16)


Whaaa, Whaaa, Whaaa, Whaaa, “Prisoner 201. Prisoner 201 is now in lock down now retrieving Prisoner 202.” No! Please not again! I can’t take this anymore. “Prisoner 203 and 204 your time is near.” Oh my gosh, thank GOD it is not my turn again. Why am I here? How long have I been here? Oh why didn’t I just listen to my mom? Before I tell you what is about to happen you need to know why I am here and why I am so scared.


So, hi, my name is Dominic Rodriguez. I know I have a great name. I was the best there was. Seeing that I am only ten. I did anything I wanted and got whatever I wanted. I was on top of the word and the king of my domain. No one could tell me what to do. Not even my mom. I guess that was my downfall. I guess my mom was tired of my behavior so she sent me to the PIT. The PIT is where you go when you don’t listen to your parents. No one knows where it is or how you get there. All we know is that the Grim Reaper takes you there. You see with a rumor like that, I thought that it was just a tale to scare children. I could not have been more wrong.


It was Saturday, I wanted to hang out downtown with some friends. As I was leaving the house my annoying mother stops me. “Where are you going Dominic? It is Sunday night and you have school in the morning.” Oh my gosh she is so annoying. I decided not to answer her and leave the house. “Dominic if you do not come back I will be forced to send you to the PIT.” She threatened me. Me! Who does she think she is? She has made this threat so many time so she is obviously bluffing. I mean the PIT does not exist. I left anyway. Boy, I wish I had just listened to her. When I got home my mom was talking to a hooded figure in the kitchen. I could not see much but the scythe they had in there hand made me feel uneasy. The only words I heard was my mom saying thank you over and over. She gave the creep a hug. I just scoffed and went to bed.


When I woke up I was so cold. I went to stretch but I realized that I was tied up. How did I get here? “I see you're awake,” exclaimed the person I saw talking to my mom. They had the scariest voice I have ever heard. “ I am the Grim Reaper but you can call me Grim. Do you know why you are here boy? You have not been listening to your mom have you? Now because of your insubordination I am taking you to the PIT.” I thought that he was just kidding. I mean this had to be a joke. But as soon as I saw the island we were approaching, I wished I had listened to my mom's warning.


The shore filled with rocks as sharp as knives waiting to stop those who dare to try to escape. With skull shaped mountains it is no wonder that there is an eerie feeling to this place. Beautiful trees with vibrant green leaves conceal the evil lurking within the shadows cover half of this haunting place. A castle looms on top of a sharp and ragged looking mountain. The sky swirls with a never ending storm giving the castle a haunted look. Distant screams echoing throughout the island, belong to children who are punished, in the castle, for their sins. This is the PIT and the place I will spend eternity regretting not listening to my mom.


Grim knocked me out as soon as we pulled up to the shore. I woke up on a table. There were these beings standing above me with a glowing red iron rod. No! They can’t do what I think they are doing. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” “Dominic you will now be known as Prisoner 203.” The sound came from the speaker above me. How could they? I am sure you can guess what they did. They branded me! I have never felt such pain in my life. “Prisoner 203 you will now go to your treatment program.” I was dragged away kicking and screaming. They put me in this room with a chair and a monitor in front of it. As soon as they put me in the chair metal cuffs came up and secured me firmly to the seat. They asked me questions and if I got it wrong or lied they would burn my back. They did not just burn me. I went to this medical room and they put this thing around my neck. Whaaa, Whaaa, Whaaa, Whaaa, “Prisoner 202. Prisoner 202 is now in lock down now retrieving Prisoner 203.” Aw man not again.


After ‘class’ was finished I was sent to my cell. There I thought I was safe but I could have not been more wrong. Every time I did something without getting permission they shocked me. I guess this is how they are going to teach me manners. Ha! I am just going to play alone and when I finally get an opening I will... “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (Pant pant pant)” “Oh, Prisoner 203 if you think anything bad or even think of escaping you will be sent into solitary confinement. Guards, take Prisoner 203 to solitary confinement.” This won’t be that bad I thought to myself. I was locked in a soundproof room. I tried talking but when I did I could not hear my own voice. I was going insane. They did not give me any food that day and when I finally got out I was more than willing to comply.


There must be something in my food. I am starting to forget who I am. How long have I been here? What is my name? Oh right! It is Prisoner 203. I am so glad that they are helping me learn. I have advanced to the next level and am now called 203. I have even started to grow scales. I am starting to look like them every day. Hey guess what! I now have wings. The master of the castle says someone is here to visit me. I wonder who it is. I went to the throne room and bowed to my lord. There was this woman standing next to him. “Lord Grim what may I do to help you?” The woman started crying. “Dominic I have missed you so much. You have been here for a year.” I looked at the woman confused. Who is Dominic? “I am sorry miss. I do not know who Dominic is. My name is 203.” The woman looks so sad. “Dominic do you not know what your own name is? Do you not know who I am?” I looked at Lord Grim and asked if I may be excused to class. I did not want to miss any lessons. I wanted to become the best person I could for the Lord. I was told the woman was escorted off the island crying shortly after I went to class.


Hello I am Death. I am the second in command of the PIT. I am the second most important person next to Lord Grim. He took me in and raised me. I was told that I was a troubled child. I am now twenty years old, but that does not matter when you are immortal. Just like Grim have I have my own scythe and am now transporting bad children to the PIT. I mean how could you not listen to your parents? Grim is the closest thing I have to a parent. I would never disobey them. Many children who come here live with their parents after we have rehabilitated them. You must think that I am forced to stay here. But there is no where I would rather be than serving Grim. I would give my life for them. For who would pass up an eternal life with the Grim Reaper themselves?


Chapel Hill-Chauncy Hall is a coeducational day and boarding school located in Waltham, MA.

Topics: Chapel Hill-Chauncy Hall, Halloween

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